i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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