great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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