I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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