butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
