WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Randomize
