So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
