fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize