so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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