do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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