im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
