i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
