He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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