you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
