oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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