shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
only you would photoshop your dick
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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