When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
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We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
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You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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