Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
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I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
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i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You were trust falling into bushes
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