...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
