dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
