I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize