I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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