no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
