i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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