he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
