Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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