Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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