Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
