Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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