He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
