Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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