You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
