we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
