do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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