brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
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She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
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he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.