Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Randomize
