you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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