the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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