So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
