We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
