dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
