He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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