'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
