dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
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DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
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You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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