Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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