We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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