she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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