you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
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