yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
