Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
