Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk