lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
