I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
