i may or may not be watching the land before time
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
