Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
they need to just BURY HIM!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
