awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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