What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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