Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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