my shit smells like andre
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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