We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
