A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
