Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
