i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
